49th's edition after party

How? I kept wondering. How did that clueless guy actually win? Just how. I have a massive debt to the guy I bet with, thankfully he wasn't talking serious when we made those bets. We aren't even allowed to bet. But there he was smiling all mighty and the crowd seemed to love him. I talked to him before he entered the arena and he seemed so... I don't know... Clueless of what was happening..

I didn't even want to go to this stupid party. I thought of calling sick, but the Capitol made very clear I HAVE to go. So here I am. Wearing a short black simple dress, siting in the bar and hoping no one really notices me. I seduce the Atticus guy from afar, he still hasn't stopped smiling, just he wait until he has those 'works ' to do at the Capitol, see if he still smiles so much.

Oh, he saw me, just great. And he comes talk to me of course. I can't deny that he looks good on the outfit they put him. But I don't know if I like the gaze of his Capitol lady.

-The name is GabrieLLE, thanks so much for keeping it. - I correct him. - I didn't, that's true. - I say politely. - But I guess no one would expect me to win either and here I am. Congratulations.

Ah, isn't he a charmer. Pffft. I admit I kind of admire his optimism, though.

- Yes, we will. - I start to explain - Soon you'll take a ride through all the districts to see which families lost their kids this year and there is always the next 'let's kill kids' convention that happens every year. That must be fun. - I finish sarcastically

- Is it, though? - I asked. I couldn't talk so distantly about the other deaths. It felt wrong. - even if you aren't responsible there is that burden of you surviving instead of someone else's kid. But you probably shouldn't discuss it with me. I am on a deal with the Capitol to keep living for at least 5 years - I laugh at the ridiculousness of the contract. - but don't worry just two more years to go

- I don't know. Ever since I got to the Capitol I tried to end my life. - I explain as the simple truth it is - You can say I am the biggest loser around here. In a death game I tried to die but survived. How ironic is it? - I pose a smile. - But they need a victor figure so... - my eyes fill with anger from the other part of the agreement - If I don't keep that figure in a 5 year time my sister will come with me to the after life. And wouldn't that suck?

- I didn't do that to myself. - I look down not to look at him. His optimism and happy goingness messes with my nerves - I did it to my cousin. I did it to him and I can't take it back. But - I keep looking down. Axel and the guys don't like to talk about this, they have their own ghosts to face, but this kid seems like he needs to be shaken up. - Not only that, I simply don't deserve to be alive and I shouldn't be.

Is he stupid? He must be stupid.

- How do you think I won? - I'm guessing he didn't pay attention to my edition. - Not every edition a magical hole appears on the ground to kill the bad guys for you. - I whisper too. What? Made results? Pufft, nah. -

- They had no right to make that decision and make me live with it. - I say firmly - I wouldn't have tried and I maybe could have made it if they didn't do it.. Now two lives are lost. He won't come back and I don't have a future. Only mine would have been fine. - I conclude.

I drink my drink all at once. That thing made me dizzy even before reaching my stomach but it didn't have the affect I was working. In fact, other than the dizziness it made no effect at all.

- where did you get that? Really how poetic. - I make fun of it. - I'm celebrating don't you see? Hey, hit me another one! - I show the bartender my glass for him to fill again.

- Don't worry. My liver can stand two more years of this - I say - Then I am sorry I am not your best company. Your Capitol girl is calling you for sometime now. She'll be more of your vibe

Yeah, the horn lady. We all make fun of her, even Darsy who really isn't much to talk.

- Well, but this party is for you to enjoy and make some... Contacts.. - It won't be good for your publicity to sit around the grumpy victor.

- Annoying people? - I raise an eyebrow. - Did you already have time to know anyone out of your prep team? And I guess you didn't meet the other victors either, did you?

- Been there, know that. - Actually what I was thinking but I wasn't the one saying it. - You don't lose time do you, redhead? - Axl approach the bar and sits next to Atticus. - That's odd from you, Gab, making friends and all.

I sigh, what was he saying isn't he my friend too? The only I could do in here really.. - Hey, Axl. - I guess these two need an introduction. - That is Axl, he is the guy who won after me, district 2 and a real pain in the ass.